Just taking a quick minute while my sick (again) kiddos nap, to check in.
Let's get real for a minute... this year thus far has been less than stellar. Seriously, it's been bad. We're going on almost 3... yes THREE... straight months of sickness in our home. It's made for little to no work on KYEbags, a disastrous post-Christmas stuffed-to-the-brim apartment that's making me INSANE, and a run down, pretty depressed me.
At the beginning of the year, we had what seemed like a promising house situation open up to us. I was pumped. I loved that house. It's a gorgeous old Victorian that's been in my family for many years, that I've always admired it. I thought after almost 5 years, two kids and lots of prayer, that we were finally getting out of this one bedroom 700 square foot apartment. But after assessing the home, and realizing it's in need of several immediate repairs, in which we could not get the proper loan for, we made the decision to stick where we're at a little longer and continue to save. Yeah. Super bummer.
Right now, things look bleak. Much like the what seems like unending winter weather we're having. Clouds for days, with little hope of sun... literally and figuratively. I'm in the thick of winter blues, slowly slipping into a state of crazy insanity I never thought existed.
But despite my present feelings, despite sickness, despite my lack of time to work, despite a lack of hopeful housing prospects, despite the current financial dilemmas.... and the list goes on (you fill in the blank)... I know without a shadow of a doubt that there IS hope. Hope in Jesus, who calls me a friend. Hope in eternity, which is far greater than anything we're facing here on this earth. Hope in the grace and mercy shown to us through His death on the cross and His unfailing love. Hope in something so much bigger than ourselves and our own strength.
I am happy to know the Lord. Not just to know of Him, but truly have the opportunity to KNOW Him and have a relationship with Him. To me, that is the most amazing thing- that the creator of the universe has the humility to want to call me His friend. Even when I am ugly and in my weakest state.... He still calls me lovely. I think that is pretty profound.
So although the winter is long and the present outlook seems.... dark... I am choosing to cling to hope today. Because it's mine, freely. I am clinging to the grace and mercy I have in all circumstances. I am clinging to His goodness, no matter how bleak things may seem. He is still God, and He still calls me His friend, His child even.
Spring will come. It seems I forget it every winter, but it always comes.... each year surprising me all over again with the freshness that it brings. Buds, green trees, blossoming flowers... it all seems like a distant memory right now, but if I dig down deep, I remember it's earthy scent. The pleasant feeling of the warm, rainy air hitting my face as I walk out the door, drinking in every deep fresh breath in and slowly exhaling it out again. We'll see the sun again, regularly even, and feel it's warmth on our skin.
For now, I wait and hope in the promise of change.
Because it's inevitable.
And in time, it will come.
P.s. There are only a couple days left of the 25% off sale happening now in the etsy shop.
Head on over and snag yourself a little something to spice up that spring wardrobe, and help me reach that house goal ;)